Excerpt for Ici, on parle français by , available in its entirety at Smashwords







ICI, ON PARLE FRANÇAIS!!!


POLTU


Two cool dudes set out to learn French…


Includes the bonus strip : Le Mystère du Chapeau Manquant sur Sûr


*****


License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. You are welcome to share it with your friends. This book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, provided the book remains in its complete original form. If you enjoyed this book, please return to your favorite ebook retailer to discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

Copyright © 2017 Pashupati “Poltu”Chatterji

All rights reserved.

This edition is based on a project done by the author for Alliance Française de Bangalore in 2015. Alliance Française is in no way connected to this particular edition. It is produced at the sole initiative of the author. All rights rest with the author.

Names of well-known commercial products or organizations, where mentioned in this work, are trademarks of their respective owners.

All characters in this work are fictional. Any similarity is purely coincidental. All products and organizations, except for well known trade names as mentioned above, are fictional and any similarity of name is purely coincidental.

Cover Art by the Author


FOREWORD

Ici on parle française’ was project I had done for Alliance Française de Bangalore in 2015. As a French-speaking Indian cartoonist and a former student, they had invited me to do a series of cartoons on life at the institute. The result was a cartoon strip on the fictional adventures of two cool dudes, Vics and Sids, learning French at the Alliance Française. It ran a full year at the institute, developing a cult fan-following, and was eventually published as a paperback by Alliance Française for distribution to all the students of Alliance worldwide.

This is an e-Book version of that paperback, with modifications and additional episodes, that I am releasing publically at my own initiative. Alliance Française is not in any way connected to this edition. If there are any issues with it, please contact me.

Enjoy the humor. If you, like me, are a student of the French language, I’m sure it’ll give you a good laugh and revive a few old memories of grappling with adjective declination and irregular verbs and whatnot. This is a free e-book. I urge you to share it widely. Forward it to all your fellow students of the beautiful French language.

Since the original project was meant for students in Bangalore, it made frequent references to the city, its cuisine, streets etc for local color. A minor drawback is that some of the jokes may be incomprehensible to non-Bangaloreans. There is a glossary at the back for the rest of the world. If you can’t make head nor tail of a particular joke, check out the glossary; it might help.

I thank again Mikael and his staff at Alliance Française for all the help and support I received. The following page contains an introduction written by Mikael that had accompanied the original paperback.

By the way, I have also done a German version of this book: Hier Sprechen wir Deutsch. More information at the back of the book

Poltu

Lyon, France

Website: www.poltusworld.com

Blog: pen-slinger.blogspot.com

The following foreword in French and English was supplied by the director of Alliance Française de Bangalore for the original 2015 paperback edition released internally within the organization. Alliance Française is not in any way connected to this particular public edition.



... ET UN MOT DU DIRECTEUR


Quelques semaines après être arrivé à Bangalore, en septembre 2014, je recevais un courriel d’un dénommé Poltu me présentant son travail : il revenait de Lyon, où il avait réalisé une résidence à l’invitation de l’Alliance française de cette ville, dessinait des BD depuis plusieurs années qu’il publiait sur son blog, écrivait des chansons de temps en temps et… c’est tout. Pas de demande de rendez-vous, pas de sollicitation particulière, un courriel juste comme ça, pour dire qu’il était là, qu’il existait et qu’il créait.

Ce premier contact, inhabituel pour un artiste qui cherche à se promouvoir, m’intrigua. Je visitai donc son blog pour y découvrir des planches, courtes et postées avec une régularité surprenante, aux abords très simplistes mais à la richesse narrative et humoristique indéniables. Nous convînmes alors d’un premier rendez-vous. Cette première rencontre s’avéra tout de suite fructueuse. Francophone et francophile –il voyage régulièrement en France-, Poltu désirait donner continuité au projet initié avec l’Alliance française de Lyon en créant une BD autour de l’Alliance de Bangalore, où il avait été étudiant des années auparavant. Et c’est en nous révélant, les yeux rieurs, cette dernière information que nous comprîmes que nous venions de trouver LE sujet : l’aventure des deux jeunes Bangaloréens apprenant le français à l’Alliance pouvait commencer…

A raison d’une planche par semaine publiée sur notre site, Poltu nous a livré en 2015 une histoire drôle et, par certains aspects, surréaliste, dépeignant les tribulations de Vic et Sid dans leur apprentissage de la langue française. Très vite, nous nous sommes tous attachés à ces deux trublions qui ont rythmé nos semaines avec leur maladresse, leur paresse, leur truculence mais aussi leur amour pour une langue qu’ils prennent un malin plaisir à tourner en dérision.

Ne vous laissez pas méprendre cependant par l’apparente simplicité de ces tranches de vie. Car Poltu nous parle aussi, au travers de ses personnages, de cette rencontre entre les cultures, faite de découvertes, de surprises et parfois d’incompréhensions; confrontation saine et enrichissante qui nous aide à nous comprendre et à appréhender ce monde complexe et pluriel. Et il nous en parle d’autant mieux qu’il le fait avec cet humour absurde et cette tendresse généreuse qui caractérisent son œuvre. L’Alliance française est aujourd’hui heureuse de présenter l’intégralité de ce travail avec, en supplément, une histoire qui fait curieusement écho à l’actualité –Poltu résout le mystère de la disparition de l’accent circonflexe à Bangalore...

Nous espérons que vous prendrez autant de plaisir que nous à lire cette histoire… et qu’elle vous donnera envie de venir, ou revenir, à l’Alliance française ! Ah, avant que je n’oublie, je tiens à préciser qu’aucun de nos enseignants n’a jamais tué de rat avec ses dents! Bonne lecture!


Mikael de la Fuente, directeur Alliance française de Bangalore

... AND ONE WORD FROM THE DIRECTOR

A few weeks after my arrival in Bangalore, in September 2014, Poltu sent me an email to introduce his work to me : he was coming back from Lyon, where the Alliance française invited him to a residence, he had been publishing comics since several years on his blog, writing songs from time to time and… that’s all. No request for a meeting, no particular sollicitation, an email just like that, to say that he was there, that he existed and that he was creating.

This first contact was quite unusual for an artist trying to promote himself, I was intrigued. Later on I visited his blog and discovered his comic strips. They were short and uploaded remarkably often. At first, they could seem simplistic but his creations were actually gathering in narrative richness with an undeniable humour. We quickly scheduled a meeting.

This first meeting appeared to be fruitful immediately. Poltu is French-speaking and francophile (he travels regularly to France). He wished to continue a project initiated by the Alliance française de Lyon, by creating a comic about the Alliance française de Bangalore, where he had previously been a student. And by revealing this last information to us, with a spark in his eyes, we realised that we had found THE topic: the adventures of two young Bangaloreans students learning French at the Alliance could now begin...

At the rate of one comic strip per week, Poltu delivred to us in 2015, a funny, and sometimes surreal, story about the adventurous life of Vic and Sid learning French. We quickly fell in love with those two scalawags as their clumsiness, idleness and love for French definitely put a rhythm in our everyday life.

But don’t let the apparent simplicity of these slices of life fool you. Through his characters, Poltu deals with the encounter between two cultures, made of discoveries, surprises and sometimes misunderstandings. It’s a wholesome and rewarding showdown; helping us to understand ourselves as well as this complex sophisticated world, a bit better. He portrays it just as well as he speaks about it, with this absurd humor and this bountiful kindness that charactarises his work.

The Alliance française is pleased to introduce his entire work to you, along with a special story which curiously resonates the current situation -Poltu solves the mystery of the disappearance of the circumflex in Bengaluru... We hope you’ll enjoy reading this story as much as us, and that it inspires you to come, or to come back to the Alliance !

Oh, and before I forget, I would like to clarify that none of our teachers has ever killed a rat with his or her teeth! Bonne lecture!

Mikael de la Fuente, director Alliance française de Bangalore

BONUS EPISODES


The following episodes form part of a pilot I did in 2016 for a possible second season of the adventures of Vics and Sids. They were not part of the original 2015 project and paperback. The plan was that I would draw a new series where Vics and Sids win a scholarship to go to France, and have lots of adventures in that country and get to know the French people and French culture. Unfortunately, at that juncture, many of the colleagues I was working with at the Alliance got transferred, and the second season never saw the light of the day.


Here, for the first time released to the general public, are these pilot episodes…


Le Mystère du Chapeau Manquant sur Sûr


Right after the pilot episodes, there is a bonus strip: The Mystery of the Missing Circumflex. An allegory on the love-hate relationship that the French have with that little ‘cap’ accent that decorates so many of their words.


This is a little side project that I had done for Alliance Française on the occasion of Fête de la Francophonie.




2015 Publicity POSTER FOR THe original project


Afterword



Did you like this book? Tweet about it, post messages on Facebook, blog about it… or better still, call your friends and tell them about it using that rather old-fashioned and outdated medium, your voice.

I self-publish my books, and I am completely dependant on word-of-mouth publicity from you, my dear readers.

Most of my cartoon strips such as this and others are published free on my blog, and the sale of the books helps me continue drawing strips for you every week.

Please do join me on Twitter and Facebook..

Besides being a cartoonist, I’m also a humor novelist and singer-songwriter. You can download my songs on my website poltusworld.com, and find out more about my novels.

If you haven’t already, do checkout by blog pen-slinger.blogspot.com. You will find lots of other fun stuff: short humor pieces, free eBooks, new and old cartoon strips, music reviews and more. Click on ‘Best of Pen-Slinger’ to read the Top-Ten pieces.

On the following pages, in addition to information about my other cartoon collections, you’ll find samplers of my humor novels – basically a comic series featuring a woman detective called Perl and her hapless male colleague, Hari. If you liked my cartoon work, you’ll like the Perl series a lot more. I invest a lot of time and love into my cartoons, but I have to admit that the Perl series is my magnum-opus, my master work, what I live, breathe and die for. Do check it out.


To Contact Me:

Twitter: @poltuchat

Facebook: www.facebook.com/plotuchat

Website: www.poltusworld.com.

Blog: pen-slinger.blogspot.com

Hier Sprechen Wir Deutsch





I have also done a German adaption of this comic strip. If, like me, you also happen to speak German, or have a friend who does, you might like to take a look at this book. The French and German languages and cultures being so different, as you can imagine, this book is more of a re-creation than a translation. Rest assured, you won’t get a feeling of ennui or déjà-vu. You can find it on the same website where you got this book. You can also read it online on my blog pen-slinger.blogspot.com.


More works by Poltu on the following pages...


Books by Poltu



Fiction:

The Perl Series:

Perl and the Sacred Ashtray

Perl and the Exploding Buffalo

Perl and the Last of the Neanderthals

Perl and the Psychotic Mutant Space Cattle


Non Fiction:

Going Up the Downturn


Graphic Novels:

Searching for Godot

Good God!

Blandine’s Farm

Blandine’s Farm





A comic strip collection.


The stories of all the wonderful animals on tiny farm perched on a rock overlooking the Rhone… Blandine’s Farm.

Good God!




A comic-strip collection.


What if God too just wanted to be a regular god?

Conversations with God ... this time over beer and chips!

God and Man get together over a few bottles of Bud and discuss the existentialist problems of being a full-time God in the modern age.



PERL AND THE SACRED ASHTRAY

Volume I of Perl’s Script.



The Old Goat hits back…

Two leading city gurus fight it out for the spiritual TV ratings in the Indian city of Bangalore. Things have reached such a bitter pass that Sri Sri (or is it Sri Sri Sri?) Bobby Shankar – the Art of Kidding chap – habitually refers to his rival as That Old Goat. That Old Goat, meanwhile – or Shy Baba to use his official name, he of the permanent bad hair day, calls his spiritual adversary Stupid ol’ Bobby, boorishly eschewing all the Sris in the prefix.

Bobby seems to have the upper hand with his corny jokes and his Sacred Ash gimmick, until his deadly rival of the holy cloth comes up with the Sacred Ashtray. This naturally makes Bobby bite the lemon and take a jaundiced view.

Enter Perl and Hari – the intrepid technologist-entrepreneur duo. Can they invent a sacred ashtray machine for Bobby to outdo that of Shy Baba?

But they get more than they bargained for in this particular project. Their technological research soon lands them into a bubbling, frothing spiritual gumbo of food critic murderers, overweight German spies, kidnapping, extortion, sex scandals… can Perl and Hari extricate themselves from the holy soup with their sanity – and bank balance – intact?

Excerpt:

Perl was already back, looking like a spray of dew-drenched sweet pea when Hari crawled into Ruby Storm. She was seated at a speakerphone, ready to open negotiations with Bobby. She waved him to a couch and pressed Dial.

“Art of Kidding,” said a soft feminine voice. “Which leg would you like pulled today? Press one for –”

“I’m going to do the leg-pulling, kid,” said Perl like ice cubes made audible. “Put me through to that rat Bobby.”

The receptionist had been trained well. She did not miss a beat.“Sri Sri – or on certain days Sri Sri Sri – Bobby Shankar does not take calls.”

“He’ll take this one all right. Tell him it’s about the ring.”There was a suppressed gasp – the news had obviously gotten around the ashram. There were confused rattles, clicks and whispered conversations. Then Bobby came on the line.

“Yes? Who is this?”

“We have your ring.”

“What?”

“You heard. – If you want to see your darling finger-joy alive again, leave a million rupees in unmarked bills behind the third garbage can under the R.K. Puram Bridge.”

“What?”

“Unmarked bills. One million. R.K. Puram Bridge.”

“What?”

“Oh Good Grief!” said Perl impatiently. “Didn’t your English teacher tell you about the other interrogative pronouns? There’s also Who, Why, When and Where. Anyhow, putting the whole thing in a concise nutshell, we’ve ringnapped your ring – your ashtray machine is in our custody. And you, rat, are in a fix.”

There was a choking, gurgling sound.

“Perl? Is that you, Perl?”

“It’s your nemesis, kid. And in case your English teacher didn’t teach you words like that, a nemesis is not a nice thing to have.”

A furious cry – like that of a TV Baba who had nicked himself shaving – engulfed the speakerphone.

“It was you! You broke into my ashram last night and stole my ring!”

“The one you didn’t pay for,” said Perl frostily. “This is called repossession, kid. Not stealing. Banks and credit card companies do it all the time.”


Perl and the Exploding Buffalo

Volume-II of Perl’s Script:



Hari and Perl start a fire and a French restaurant. They land up with a homicidal cook on the run from the French Police for the murder of a leading food critic, and a pair of waiters working towards a PhD in Chaos Theory. A gentlemanly buffalo called Jagan joins up as restaurant mascot, and is immediately converted into a four-legged bomb by the RATS terror group. But Perl has already embedded him with an experimental eViagra chip that sporadically turns him into a raging bovine Romeo, which makes him the quarry of Japanese super-spy Mata. Can Perl save Jagan from Mata and the RATS, and their cook from the French Police?


Excerpt:

“Well, young lady?” asked Perl. “Having another go at Jagan, I see.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Mata, too exhausted to argue.

“Didn’t I tell you his testicles were off-limits? You must fight this irrational urge for buffalo testicle curry. It is becoming a neurotic obsession with you.”

“Not testicle, brain,” mumbled Mata. “Bhutanese buffalo brain fry. Velly tasty.”

“So! You felt peckish for some brain fry, and you decided to de-brain poor Jagan? You can’t just help yourself to his medulla oblongata because the spirit moves you! I am sure he needs it.”

“Moo!” added Jagan He was attached to his cerebellum too.

“Yes. Keep your hands off his medulla oblongata, and his cerebellum and cranium as well, young lady. Do I have to ban you from his individual body parts?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Next time you have an urge to taste prime rib steak, oxtail, trotters…whatever, remember, Jagan is not your one-point convenience store. We have Johnson Market for things like that.”

“Johnson Market closed at 2 AM,” said Mata

“Well, that’s just too bad. Assuage your midnight hunger pangs with cheese and crackers. Stock your room with them. Desist from treating Jagan as your private larder.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“He is not a midnight snack.”

“No ma’am.”

“Moo!” added Jagan.

“Or breakfast, for that matter.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Very well, you may go now.”


Perl and the Last of the Neanderthals

Volume-III of Perl’s Script:



There’s a Neanderthal in my bed!

Like most women on their wedding night, Gloria Kryptopoulos comes to this routine, non-startling conclusion. But Gloria is not most women. She has a PhD in Anthropology, and her husband, a senile buffalo farmer, doubles as research specimen. Where the average susceptible young bride is filled with a kind of shrinking horror, this moment of epiphany affects Gloria the way an overflowing bathtub had a compatriot of hers, several centuries ago – a gent by the name of Aristotle. Like him, she springs up, uttering something unintelligible in Greek, and spends the next twenty years of her life trying to prove her hubby is the last surviving Homo Neanderthalensis, a leftover from a lost tribe of Neanderthals.

Flash-forward several years. Gloria is about to make public her epoch-making research findings at an international anthropological conference, when her research specimen-husband is kidnapped – by a jealous colleague with a permanently jaundiced view of life after having been dropped on his head as a baby.

Enter the Perl and Hari: software programmers, restaurateurs, scientific detectives. Gloria is impressed with their tracking down of a kidnapped buffalo. She hires them to track down her kidnapped buffalo-farmer husband.

Their search takes them to the glassy caverns of AARS, lined with bound back-volumes of Playboy, in the staid business districts of Singapore. As head of a premier anthropological organization, Shi Yi must know something of the kidnap, for he has a finger in every anthropological pie. But is he really on their side? Or is he hand-in-buffalo poop with the kidnapper?

It does not take them long to realize that they have not one, but three mad anthropologists to contend with, and that the answers lie deep in the virgin rainforests of Borneo.

Excerpt:

DDT – for that is how Prof D.D. Tyagi was know to his students – turned out to be a thin dark gent with a mop of unruly white hair, a lopsided grin, and a curious manner of looking out of the corner of his eyes and licking his lips, which made him look like a sexual pervert. This he in fact was not. It was just the unfortunate side-effect of having been dropped on his head as a baby, while his mother took a quick swig of rum from her husband’s liquor cabinet. A legion of female students who had managed to get their doctorates unmolested – a rarity in Indian academic circles – would have attested to his moral rectitude.

Gloria of course did not know this, but it still did not bother her. She liked sexual perverts. She enjoyed slapping them. She loved the stinging sensation on her palms, and the shock of enlightenment on their faces. It was little pleasures like that that made life interesting.

She sat before DDT with bated breath, her slapping hand twitching, barely hearing what he was saying.

“So, my dear Gloria,” said DDT leering genially, “my dear friend Aristopoulos says you wish to study our rural communities?”

“Yes,” said Gloria absently, discreetly squeezing out a drop of glycerin on her hand from the little bottle in her handbag. It added a pleasing wet, sucking sound to the slap.

“The question of course,” said DDT, “is how rural? We have sort-of rural, really rural, and really, really back-of-beyond rural.”

“Yes?” asked Gloria.

“Yes. We have places just a short car ride out of Delhi that could pass for rural. The people there are marginally more uncouth than in Delhi, which is actually pretty impressive because people in Delhi are already astonishingly uncouth – you must have noticed that already.”

“Yes - the taxi driver on the way from the Airport to this place was fairly bizarre. I had to enlighten him spiritually.”

“But, on the other hand - these ‘sort-of rural’ places are contaminated by the modern world. The TV, the fridge, the detergent soap… this reduces their scientific value.”

“I suppose…” said Gloria, looking mysteriously into his eyes.

“Then we have the ‘really rural’ - which is a lot better. Those kinds of places are at least a day’s journey away. No TV, fridge but they still use detergent soap. Still valuable scientifically, but a soap washed villager is somehow unsatisfying. You don’t get that strong rural aroma that makes all the difference.”

“Hmm,” purred Gloria.

“But what is truly interesting is the really, really back-of-beyond rural, where they are still living in the 3rd century.”

“Ah?”

“B.C.”

“That’s interesting.”

“Yes. Very interesting. But you would have to travel deep into the hinterland for that. It’s a long journey, and not very safe – especially for a lone woman.”

“That’s nice.”

“So what would you like, my dear?” asked DDT kindly. “Plain vanilla rural, or really, honest-to-goodness rural?”

“Oh…really, really rural.”

“Really, really, really rural?”

“Oh yes,” said Gloria earnestly. “Really-truly obnoxiously rural. As rural as it gets.”

Perl and the psychotic mutant space cattle

Volume-IV of Perl’s Script:





GOING UP THE DOWNTURN

A humor non-fiction with cartoons, by Poltu


Is the recession making you blue? This book is just what the doctor ordered.


Twenty-two sure-shot strategies for dealing with the downturn!!!


Follow them and you’re sure to get shot.


Written by your friendly, neighborhood career consultant on probation from the friendly, neighborhood asylum.


A humorous look at living in a recession. Will the strategies in this book help you deal with your real-life problems? Possibly not. On the other hand, it will certainly cheer you up, and in these grim times you can use all the cheering-up coming to you, no? And who knows, while you are laughing, you may realize your troubles are actually a blessing in disguise.

Excerpt:

(from Strategy 13: Start a revolution)

Seeing not the dimmest hope of a job on the horizon, your thoughts turn lightly to commerce. Why not start my own company, you think? Then I can have fun laying off my own employees.

This is actually a good idea, but to succeed in business, you need a revolutionary new product. Say you want to get into men’s underclothing – your only specialization – you need to come up with a revolutionary – not revolting – new underwear that will bring the Y-Front clad hoards screaming into your retail outlet, trampling three innocent bystanders in the process.

But instead of all that sweat of thinking up a new product, why don’t you consider starting a revolution itself? No, I don’t mean a revolution in men’s personal clothing – I mean a real, honest-to-goodness blood-and-gore revolution. Think Stalin. Think Mussolini. Think Mao Tse Tung.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR



Pashupati “Poltu” Chatterji is a humor novelist, cartoonist and songwriter. “Poltu” is his pen-name.

Poltu describes himself as an overgrown teenager and an incurable Wodehouse addict. He spent the early part of his childhood in Africa, and later in Rajasthan, India. He also lived some years in Munich, Germany. For most of the past decade he had lived in Bangalore, and most of his novels are based out of that city. He is currently based in Lyon, France.

Before turning a full time novelist in 2006, Poltu worked in software. He was senior manager in leading tech MNC’s (Siemens, Infineon, Intel). He speaks English, German, French, Hindi, Bengali and smatterings of Kannada, Marathi and Swahili.

Poltu has written a number of humorous books, both novels and non-fiction. More information is available on his website www.poltusworld.com. His novels are what he calls ‘musical novels’ – they are accompanied by songs, which can be downloaded from his website. He has won an international songwriting competition in France.

In 2014, he was the Cartoonist-in-Residence at Alliance Française de Lyon. In 2015 he drew a weekly comic strip in French for Alliance Française de Bangalore which was displayed in all the classrooms. He publishes numerous weekly cartoon strips on his humor blog: Good God! Blandine’s Farm, Naresh NGO, Searching for Godot, and others, in English, French and German.

Glossary for non-Bangalorians


There are some references in the strips which might not be intelligible to readers who have never been to India – or Bangalore for that matter. Here is a short explanation.

Hijras: A transsexual community in India. The men change their gender and dress like women. For serious, religious reasons, not for fun.

Majestic Bus Stop: The central bus stop in Bangalore, spang in the middle of the city, also the central train station: roughly the equivalent of Gare du Nord for Bangalorians. You can’t avoid this place, if you are getting around by bus. All routes lead to it. Its official name is Kempegouda Central Bus Stand, but no one uses it. Majestic is the name of a historic cinema theatre that used to stand here.

Basavanagudi, Lingarajapura: Two suburbs of Bangalore, in the eastern part of the city. If you travel eastwards from Majestic, you pass Basavanagudi first, and then Lingarajapura.

ಹುಚ್ಚ (Huccha!): The Kannada word for ‘Mad!’ You are likely to hear this if you say something stupid in this city. Kannada, by the way, is the local language.

ಏನು (Eenu?): The Kannada word for ‘What?’ The standard response in this city when you ask an unintelligible question.

ಹೌದು (Houdu): The Kannada word for Yes, Of course, certainly. Very useful word to know, if you are one of those people who always say Yes.

Bill-U: A bill. Many Kannada nouns end in U. So, If you add an ‘U’ sound to an English noun, it becomes – usually, but not always – a Kannada noun. Very useful for people who don’t speak Kannada.

ಮಾಡಿ (Madi): Madi is the Kannada verb for ‘to do’. Add it to an English noun, and it becomes a command: Bill-madi - give me the bill. Also very useful for non-Kannada speakers.

Shanti Sagar: A chain of popular restaurants serving South Indian snacks like masala dosa and upma. Shant Sagar means ‘Ocean of Peace’ or in German, ‘Friedenssee’

Masala Dosa: A kind of rice crêpe with a spicy potato hash filling. Like the French crêpe, it can have a variety of fillings, but unlike the French version, which is often sweet, a masala dosa is always savory. You never, ever eat a masala dosa filled with jam. If you ask for that in a traditional South Indian restaurant, they’ll look at you as if you are mad. They’ll probably call you ಹುಚ್ಚ (Huccha), but under their breath, because South Indians are very polite. No idea why it should be so, but that’s the way it is. In my opinion, a dosa ought to taste just great with a generous filling of orange marmalade or Nutella. Never tried it though.

Kissan Mixed-Fruit Jam: One of the oldest brands of jam in India.

Upma: A semolina dish, a bit like couscous, but softer and a lot spicier. And a few flecks of tomato and it becomes tomato upma.

Masala Vada: Chickpea fritters. A bit like falafel, but harder and spicier.

Vada, Idly, Sambar, Coconut Chutney: Other typical South Indian snacks and their accompaniments. The French ‘names’ for these dishes, as used by Vics in episode 47, are merely their description in French.

Filter Coffee: the South Indian version of café au lait. Very sweet, sticky and very milky. Most French people I know find it a bit overwhelming.







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